Stop Negotiating Your Reality

You’re worth more than you think.

As I stare into the infinite ocean horizon, the stillness is a lightning rod for the noisy mind to ground itself. Gazing at the endless blue, I can’t help but wonder: in this world we share — how was MY particular view of reality formed?

The ocean horizon from the Canary Islands, Spain

Don’t be fooled by the simplicity of the question, for your life is greatly influenced by your beliefs and what reality specifically looks like to you.

The variety of belief systems explain why some see obstacles where others see opportunity, and why some have high confidence while others hide behind a veil of shyness. Your belief system also explains why you’ve taken certain paths that brought you to this point in life.

Each of us were conditioned from childhood to believe certain things in order to make sense of the world, while gaining approval from family, friends, and social groups. But you’re a responsible adult now, so why are you still clinging to beliefs that restrict your happiness in life?

There is no universal reality that is the same for all of us. While we all share this world, each person perceives a reality that is completely unique to them.

Your experience of reality is unique to YOU.

For society to function in an efficient way, it’s important that we each calibrate our unique realities toward particular things. For example, we have agreed that color red looks a certain way. But beyond this particular social agreement, the color red doesn’t really exist anywhere but in your own mind. This means that apples aren’t actually red, except to those who believe it is.

If this seems difficult to accept, then think about what dogs (color blind), honey bees (ultraviolet), or blind people see when they look at an apple.

There is no ”red”. Your experience of color is 100% unique to YOU.

Your happiness might be entirely unaffected by your belief of what the color red looks like and how it gets defined, but there are other beliefs about reality that are wreaking havoc on your life right now. For example, what has society subconsciously conditioned you to believe about the definitions of: beauty, intelligence, power, and freedom?

Certain aspects of life have such a deep effect on your happiness that they should only be defined by you and no one else.

If you struggle with owning the personal truth that you are an attractive, brilliant, powerful being with an incredible mind, then you may want to re-evaluate your belief systems.

Some people prescribe to society’s reality with such conviction that they must first seek permission to be happy, smart, or beautiful. If society gives a nod of approval, then all is good. But if no permission is granted, then many are stuck in cycles of seeking validation before they can be who they truly want to be.

Your happiness in life should not be up for negotiation.

The measuring stick the world uses to define your life is utterly wrong, and completely irrelevant. YOUR experience of reality is uniquely yours and yours alone, so how could anyone else possibly define what your experiences should feel like?

Your definitions of life are the only ones that truly matter, and once you realize this, you will have the power to create a reality that does not need to be negotiated, but is instead rigged in your favor and filled with agency, love, happiness, and peace.

“Those who do not free themselves by taking control of their own reality, will ultimately become oppressed by the realities of others.” — Darryl Diptee

When you stop negotiating your reality and happiness, you start taking bold steps, which others are afraid to take. Most of the world might not understand or even agree with your decisions, but that’s to be expected.

In an attempt to “bring you back down to [their] reality”, you’ll hear good-intentioned people say things like: You’re not qualified enoughYou don’t have what they’re looking for, and, What makes you so special?

Such remarks are indicators that you’re on the right path to personal freedom.

YOU are a genius in your own right. Take the reins of your reality, stop asking for permission to do great things, and simply be great.